プロのレビューは桁違い 情報商材アフィリエイト道場

情報商材アフィリエイト道場
管理人のRyu-Gです。




やはりプロのライターさんが
書いたレビューは、桁違いにウマいです。


役者が違いますね。

　実は、先日ある本を買ったんですけど

　これちょっと読んでほしいので
　ご紹介したいと思います。




　いろんなブログやメルマガでも
　紹介されていたので

　もしかしたら読んでいるかもしれませんが




　「ズバッとわかる
　　ブログでアクセスを集めてお金を稼ぐ」

　という本です。




　本というより雑誌に近いです。

　こんな表紙のやつ。
　（↓写真撮ってみました）

　

　この本がどんな内容かと言うと

　・稼いでいる人へのインタビュー

　・ブログで稼ぐ基本的な知識

　・優良情報商材の紹介




　この３つが主な内容です。

　（あとエロい広告＾＾；）




　初心者さんだったら
　基礎知識とかまとめられているので

　役に立つ内容です。




　ただ、読んでほしいと思ったのは
　そこではなくて

　優良情報商材の紹介のところ。




　なにもこれを読んで

　情報商材を買いたくなってください
　と言っているわけではありません。




　見て欲しいのは「レビュー」です。

　レビューの書き方がおそろしくウマいです。




　それもそのはずですよね。

　おそらくこれを書いているのは
　プロのライターさんです。




　普段、情報商材のレビューって

　アフィリエイターが書いたレビューしか
　見る機会ってないですよね。




　でも、この本では

　「プロが書いた情報商材のレビュー」が
　見れるわけです。

　かなり貴重なことです。




　そして、このレビューが実にうまい。

　アフィリエイトでもないので
　宣伝色もありませんし。




　まさに、役者が違うって感じです。




　この本でアフィリエイトしていたら
　一体、いくら稼いだんだっていう。




　実際、インフォトップの
　売り上げランキングとか見てみても

　紹介されている情報商材は
　かなり上位にいます。




　Ryu-Gも、２，３本欲しくなってしまいました＾＾；　

　読むときは気をつけてくださいね。




　そのくらい

　レビューがうまいという事です。




　人気商材が多いので

　あなたがアフィリエイトしている商材も
　紹介されているかもしれません。





　ちなみに紹介されている商材は

　・アフィリエイト虎の巻

　・日給８万円

　・ネット起業虎の巻

　・タイムシフトアフィリエイト

　・風花心伝　＆　風花乱舞

　・夢リタ
　
　・７ステップアフィリエイト

　・スナイパーアフィリエイトパッケージ

　・インパクトブランディングアフィリエイト術

　・モバドカーン

　・新世紀ブログアフィリエイト

　・お宝キーワード発掘法

　・次世代情報ビジネスパッケージ

　・ＤＭアフィリエイト

　・銀太郎ブランドＰＰＣ戦略

　・ＰＰＣアスリート





　自分がアフィリエイトしている商材の
　紹介方法を参考にすると

　ぐっと売れるレビューになります。




　本屋さんで見かけたら

　是非、立ち読みしてみてください（笑）




　アマゾンはこちら

　http://cl-sc.net/ryu-g/c/00631.html




　プロのレビューなんて
　そうそう見れる機会があるわけではないので

　参考にしてくださいね。






　■メール相談

　　アフィリエイトや情報商材について
　　悩み・不安な点などの相談・質問がある場合は
　　お気軽にご相談ください。

　　→ http://ryu-g.net/menu/post-2.html

　情報商材アフィリエイト道場■ＴＯＰ

Ryu-Gさん、
こんばんは！
大学生ブログアドバイザーのキョンです＾＾

いつも暖かいコメントありがとう
ございます!

この本の事はしっていましたが、
そういう見方があったんですね～。

ちょっと時間探して、
立ち読みできる本や探してきます。笑

応援します！
ぽち～

Ryu-Gさん、こんばんは！
プラス姿考のken+です。

この本買いました。
Ryu-Gさんの記事読んで
改めて読み直したら勉強になりますね。

最初流し読みしちゃってました。

応援ぽち！

こんばんは★
ヒノキ花粉にやられてます、ミズキです；ω；

この本・・読んだ事ないです；

商材のレビュー、是非読んでみたいです！
本屋さんで探してみますね＞ω＜

すっごく参考になりそう♪

応援していきます。えいっ(*￣▽￣)ノ凸ﾞ

Ryu-Gさん
いつもお世話になってます。
サスケです。

訪問＆コメントありがとうございます。

良い本のご紹介ありがとうございます。
絶対に読んで、
勉強させてもらいます。

応援ぽちです。

とっても気になる記事ですね。
なんか、分かる気がします。

もし良かったら、相互リンクをおねがいしたいんですが、どうでしょうか？
お返事もらえると嬉しいです。

応援ポチット・・・

Ryu-Gさん
いつもお世話になってます。
サスケです。

訪問＆コメントありがとうございます。

２度目の投稿失礼します。
昨日本屋さんでこの本発見しました！

プロのレビュー記事の書き方が勉強になったのは、
もちろんですが、
この本全般、とても勉強になりました。

応援ぽちです。

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Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

I am not young enough to know everything.

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

We will be a bunch of volunteers and even starting up a whole new system in the online community. Your internet web page provided us vital content to successfully paintings at. You’ve conducted a remarkable progression and then each of our full community is likely to be happy for you personally.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

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Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

A camel is a horse designed by a committee

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

I am not young enough to know everything.

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

The truth is more important than the facts.

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

Why don't you write books people can read?

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit o